AkatsukixReader(WaterBalloonFight)
by Renidan
Summary: You and the rest of the Akatsuki decide to have a game of water balloon fighting as a sort of "relaxation" from a long mission. The losing team will have to do what the winning team dares them to. (Bear with me, I'm new to writing and all, I got the idea from a friend.) I do not own Naruto, if I did, do you think I'd let the Akatsuki dissolve like that XD
1. Chapter 1

You and the Akatsuki decided to have a water balloon fight for fun. Pein gathered everyone around to explain the rules, you sat down next to Deidara anticipating what they were, this is the Akatsuki after all, any normal games won't be NORMAL with them around.

"Looks like everyone's here."

"Now, let me explain the rules, everyone listen carefully, I will not repeat myself."

He said, glaring at some people he knew weren't listening.

"First of all, we will be divided into groups of two each with five members."

"Zetsu isn't playing?"

You asked in surprise.

"Well, he isn't technically playing, you can call him the referee." "Ah."

Pein interrupted you before you could continue blabbering on.

"I'm going to write the name of each member, and the two names chosen, will be captains and get to choose the other four for their team."

Pein placed the names in a bowl. He picked two papers out of it and read them aloud. "_-chan, and me, will be the team captains." "Awesome!"

You said bursting out of your seat which was followed by a glare from Pein which made you sit back down.

"Alright _-chan, pick your team." "Hmm."You got up again with a smirk.

"I pick, Hidan!" Hidan sighed before bumping his head on the table which made you chuckle a bit.

"And what about the other three?" Asked pein impatiently.

"Kakuzu, Deidara, and Itachi!" You said excitedly. "You just have a thing for picking people that'd want to eat each other out the moment you take your eyes off of them to team up?" Whispered Konan totally amused by that.

"You're team A, Mine's team B which is, Konan, Kisame, Tobi, and Sasori." "Now then let me explain the rules."Pein slightly yelled to get everyone's attention.

"Now that I've got everyone's attention, here are the rules." Pein handed each of you a piece of paper which consisted of eight rules."

"You can attack anyone, from the enemy's team." Read Hidan aloud, pleased with this.

"You can't fight anyone from your team." Kakuzu sighed while reading the second rule.

"You can't use anything but water balloons. No Mangekyou Sharingan." Read Itachi with an awkward smirk.

"When you attack, don't attack the opponent as if you're going to kill them. Deidara, no blowing up Tobi, un." Deidara really didn't like this rule.  
"The battlefield will be the whole Akatsuki base." Konan read out to the rest.

"We are not responsible if you get injured or hurt." "Yeah, like we're going to be screaming:The water touched me, HELP!" Said Hidan as he sneered at Pein. Pein ignored him.

"You can't stop the game unless something serious happens, like if Deidara blows up the place." Read Kisame in an amused tone.

"Why is it always me, un!?" Asked Deidara, demanding an answer. "Why do you think that is? It's because you're the most troublesome.""Huh, you said something Jashin bastard? Un." "What did you just call me you art freak?" "Huh, you got a problem you jerk, un." You slammed both their heads together before they could continue. "Deidara, Hidan, Didn't you listen when Kakuzu read the second rule?" "Ugh, anything that Kakuzu says is bound to be ignored." Said Hidan trying to free himself from your hands. "I did, but this bastard's just asking for it,un." You sighed as you let go of them both.

"As your team captain, I will not tolerate this a second time." "Yeah sure, start acting all high and mighty, midget." You slammed a bonk on Hidan's head as a retort to calling you a midget.

"I'll get you back for everything you do during this game later." He mumbled. "Hm? Said something?" "Nothing" Hidan said, rolling his eyes.

"The last rule is, anyone who is unable to play, or somehow faints/collapses, will be disqualified." "So can we get this over and done with already? I hate waiting you know." Said Sasori, throwing a little tantrum. "We will, just one last thing needs to be mentioned." "And what is that?" Asked Sasori while tapping his feet impatiently.

"The base for Team A will be the kitchen." "Leader, change the location. I don't want to have to pay for the kitchen repairs later on." Sighed kakuzu. "Hm, okay then, your base will be _-chan's room." "Eh, wait, what? Pein! No way! My room's going to get destr-" "Okay, it's decided then." Interrupted Pein. "Ugh." "Got a problem?" "No, nothing." You said, forcing yourself to smile while unconsciously pinching Hidan from how mad you were. "Oi!" Hidan slapped your hands off of him. "Stop pinching me, it freaking hurts!" "Shut up and be my stress relief doll for awhile." "Like hell!"

Pein interrupted before you could start arguing with Hidan. "Team A, go to your base." "Our base will be the living room." "Okay, let's go you guys." You went on ahead while the rest of your team followed behind you.  
-Your room-  
"Okay, so here's the plan." "Hmm." Everyone leaned in close to listen.

"Itachi, you'll gaurd the room. Hidan, you'll be on Kisame. Kakuzu, you'll be on Konan,and, Deidara, you'll be on Tobi."  
"Not so smart to put Deidara on Tobi, Captain-chan." Smirked Hidan."Shut up Hidan, and focus on what your supposed to do." "Yes yes, anything you say Captain-chan." You knew he was mocking you, but decided to stay quiet, since this would take forever if you answered back.

"The rest, did you get what you're supposed to do?" They all nodded in unison.

After you were done with your planning, Zetsu appeared out of nowhere. "Leader-sama says:The game begins." 


	2. Chapter 2

You, Hidan, Deidara and Kakuzu headed out to look for the other team, while Itachi was gaurding the room. As you snuck into the living room, you looked around slowly to see if anyone was there or they already headed out. Suddenly you heard Deidara screaming, you looked back immediatly to find that Tobi glomped him.

"Deidara-Sempai! Let's play! Tobi is a good boy!"

"Ugh, Tobi! Get off of me, un!" You sighed

"Deidara, try not to blow Tobi up, you'll be disqualified."

"That's if I don't go insane first, UN!"

You signaled the rest to leave and go mark who they're supposed to attack. As you guys went into the living room, Kisame, Konan, and Pein threw water balloons at you which you guys immediately dodged.

"You guys do what we planned!" you yelled. "I know you idiot, you don't have to freaking repeat it."

"Shut up Jashin freak." You said as you lured Pein into the Kitchen.

Kakuzu lured Konan outside. Hidan and Kisame stayed in the living room and kept glaring at each other.

-The hallway-

"Tobi! You hyperactive idiot! Come back here, un!"

Deidara yelled while chasing Tobi around. Apparently Tobi stole his bag of clay and soaked Deidara's hair while he wasn't paying attention.

"No, Deidara-Sempai, if you want your clay try and catch me!" Tobi yelled back giggling like an idiot.

"This is not a game of cops and robbers! It's a freaking water balloon fight, un!"

"Okay senpai." Tobi said, stopping.

"This is a gift from me as an apology then senpai." Deidara stopped for a second, wondering what Tobi was up to. Suddenly Tobi brings out a water balloon twice the size of a normal one and throws it at Deidara which he dodged in the nick of time but his cloak got soaked. Deidara started shaking from how angry he was.  
"Tobi..." Deidara said in a deadly voice which made Tobi jump.

"Now you've done it, un!" Deidara jumped at Tobi which made him jump back and gave Deidara an opportunity to grab his bag of clay. Deidara put his hand in his bag preparing one of his clay bombs.

"Senpai, you can't blow me up! It's against the rules!" Tobi yelled in a panicking voice.

"I don't care, I want you dead now, un!"

"Senpai..." "Oi Tobi, let me ask you a question, un"

"Hm?" "Tobi, since when did the AKATSUKI follow rules?!" Before Tobi could answer, Deidara threw a clay bomb at Tobi and went back a few steps before yelling KATSU!

-The kitchen-

Zetsu appears at the kitchen

"Tobi is out since he fainted. Deidara is disqualified because he blew Tobi up." Said the white side. "He just had it coming." Said the black side in an amused voice.  
"Geez, Deidara needs anger management." You mumbled to yourself.

-Outside the hideout-

Konan and Kakuzu got the message as well. Konan started laughing, while Kakuzu just stayed quiet, he was more worried about what was going on in the kitchen than what was happening in the game.

-The living room-

Kisame and Hidan could care less. Apparently their 'staring' contest was more important than what was going on around them.


	3. Chapter 3

-Living room-

"Aren't we supposed to fight not glare at each other?" Asked Kisame with a smirk.

"I know that, but I'm not stopping until you stop, freaking bastard."

"Gee, how childish" replied Kisame.

"I am not a child for you to call me childish! I'm a freaking man incase you haven't notice." Yelled Hidan.

"You taking my comment seriously proves that you are."

"I am not, and that's the end of it."

Kisame sighed, even if it takes an eternity, an argument with Hidan will never end.

"Oi, stop freaking glaring at me already."

"I'm not glaring." said Kisame, getting slightly pissed.

"You so are, have you seen the look on your face?"

"Let's just get this over and done with already." Yelled kisame.

"You're on." Hidan grabbed a water balloon and threw it at Kisame while taking a few steps back and stepped on a balloon which Kisame placed behind him, causing it to burst.

"Crap!" Hidan yelled before tripping because of the water under his feet. "You're mine now!" Kisame yelled, slightly enjoying himself as he threw five water balloons at Hidan, who was trying to get up several times but failed. Hidan was unable to dodge them due to that.

"Ugh, now you've done it you fishy bastard." Yelled Hidan, getting angry.

"Now now Hidan, it's just a game, no need to get mad." Kisame sneered.

"It's true that the person who loses will have to do what the winner says right?"

"Yeah, what about it?" Asked Kisame suspiciously.

"Ha, then I'll be sure to win, and when I do, I'll make you eat your distant relatives in the sea."

Kisame didn't say anything back, the thought of what Hidan just said made him turn cold and faint. Hidan managed to get up after sometime, surprised that he was able to get Kisame from just that. Hidan walked up to Kisame, poking him.

"Oi, are you faking it or what, get up you bastard." Hidan got up and kicked kisame."Seriously? You're done from just that?" Hidan sighed "Winning without doing anything sucks." He decided to go to his room and pray to Jashin to pass the time, before heading out to find you.

-The kitchen-

Zetsu appeared in front of you which made you jump. "Hidan won, Kisame fainted which disqualifies him."

"How did Hidan win against Kisame?" Both you and Pein asked in surprise, even though Hidan was your teammate, that was news for you.

"Long story short, he traumatized him, who would've thought he was that easy to get." Said the white side. "Fish for dinner?" Asked the black side. "He's still alive." Said the white side slightly smirking before disappearing again.

Pein sighed, you were relieved. "I knew I could count on hidan" You said aloud, doing it to slightly tease pein.

-Outside the hideout-

Konan and Kakuzu got the news too, but were trying to strike a deal so they could care less about what was going on.

"Well Kakuzu, you leave me no choice, how about we settle this peacefully?"  
"Peacefully?" Kakuzu wanted to laugh, like there was anything barbaric about water balloon fights, to top it off, he remembered what Hidan said about the fifth rule.

"Money" Konan smirked.

"I'm listening." Replied Kakuzu gaining a sudden interest.

"I'll give you a decent amount of money, but in return you'll have to resign."

"Well, that sounds fair enough, it's not like I was going to gain anything from chasing someone around and throwing water balloons at them." Kakuzu took Konan up on her offer, forgetting that you'd give him an earful later about resigning so easily.

"At least now, if anything happens to the kitchen, I'll use the money I got from Konan to repair it." Kakuzu muttered to himself.

-The kitchen-

Zetsu once again appeared before you and Pein, interupting you everytime you were ready to start the fight.

"What happened? That was quick." You asked in surprise.

"Kakuzu resigned which makes Konan the winner." Said the white side. "She bribed him with money." Said the black side. "You weren't supposed to mention that." replied the white side.

"Gee, that money hungry idiot." You muttered to yourself. Pein made a pleased face. "As expected of Konan." He sneered at you which you replied to with an annoyed smile.

"Pein, let's settle this already." Pein nodded.

"Uh, you guys." Zetsu interrupted. "What now?" You asked.

"While on the subject, both Itachi and Sasori are disqualified."

"Eh, why?!" You asked in shock.

"Well.." The white side said slowly before being interrupted by the black side. "Itachi fell asleep somehow. Sasori got impatient waiting for him to wake up and disappeared off somewhere."

Both you and Pein were surprised by this, you tried to calm down, but after awhile you snapped. "What did you just say?!" You yelled. "That weasel idiot!"

- The living room-

Hidan went back downstairs to the living room, finding Kisame was still knocked out, he decided to ignore him and go to where you were. "That weasel idiot!" you yelled. "Hm, that's _'s voice, what the heck is she yelling for?" Thought Hidan to himself before heading over to the kitchen.


	4. Chapter 4 (Final)

Hidan walks near the kitchen door, taking a peek."Oi stupid, are you in here?"

"I'm here!" You yelled.

"Wow, she actually answered." muttered Hidan to himself, trying to control his laughter.

"Hurry up and get in here." You said

"Yeah yeah." Hidan went inside and walked over next to you.

"So.. Is this supposed to be some sort of 'boss' fight?" He asked, finally losing it and breaking into a fit of laughter.

"I've noticed you've been trying to act funny for awhile now Hidan."

"What're you talking about, I'm not acting funny, I am funny." He said finally calming down and giving you a smirk.  
"Gee, why am I stuck with this idiot." You mumbled.

"Hm?"

"Nothing." You said, rolling your eyes.

"Well, more importantly, something's been on my mind since this game started."

"What is it?" Both you and Pein asked in unison.

"You explained how to lose, but you've never explained how to win." Said Hidan giving a confused look.

"My my Hidan, how can you be so stupid, it's obvious, you make the other person lose." You said with a confident smile while patting Hidan on his back out of pity since you couldn't reach his head, let alone shoulders.

"But still, I'm surprised you actually came up with that."

"It's true, what Hidan asked." Said Pein.

"Right?" You replied not losing that confident smile you had. "Wait what?" You asked, dumbfounded.

"Who's stupid now?" Asked Hidan as he snickered at your dumbfounded expression.

"Shut up Hidan." You said, embarrassed.

Hidan was about to throw in another insult but was interrupted by Konan who ran into the kitchen.

"I'm back." She yelled excitedly. "Oh, it's not over yet?" She asked, disappointed.

"What, you thought you won or something." glowered Hidan.

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?" Asked Konan, smirking.

"Huh? Did I just hear her right? She's completely looking down on us." Hidan said, pointing at Konan while raising a brow.

"Oi, listen now, I'm not as easy as kaku-" Before Hidan could continue rambling on, you interrupted.

"So, let's get this over and done with?" you said. "But before that, we'll need to figure out a way for someone to win this game."

"Why can't it be to just make the other person lose?" you asked, getting kind of annoyed that Hidan outsmarted you.

"Yeah, why can't it just be like that." Asked Konan, joining you.

"Gee, why are girls so simpleminded?" Asked Hidan, irritated.

"Huh, who're you calling simpleminded?!" Both you and Konan asked angirly.

"How can you knock someone out with water?" Asked Hidan sarcastically.

"I don't know, stuff it in their mouth till they can't breath?" Suggested Konan. "That would just kill them wouldn't it?!" You yelled.

Hidan rolled his eyes. "We can't use Ninjutsu, Taijutsu or Genjutsu, you'll have to be real lucky to be able to knock out someone without losing it yourself."  
"So it's going to be a pain but, we'll have to figure out a way to win without having to disqualify ourselves."

Both you and Konan stared at Hidan dumbfounded. "What?" Asked Hidan, getting irritated by your face expression. "Y-you..." Both you and Konan said slowly while pointing at Hidan.. "What." Yelled Hidan. "You actually think!" Both you and Konan yelled in surprise. "That's just rude." "I don't wanna hear rude from you." You retorted.

"Well, since there are four of us here, it's decided, if one of our partners is unable to play anymore, the other team is the winner, so let's continue." Said Pein using this as an opportunity to end your little argument with Hidan.

You stuck your tongue out at Hidan, who gave you a sarcastic grin.

"Let's do this." Said Hidan. You, Konan, and Pein nodded. Konan and Pein both jumped back simultaneously.

"Don't show such an excited expression, it's creepy." You said.

"Shut up stupid." Replied Hidan.

"Stop it already you guys, you can argue after this game is over." Konan sighed.

"Whatever." Replied Hidan, you kept quiet.

Konan decided not to wait and started throwing water balloons at you. You immediately took a few steps, not noticing Hidan was behind you, you tripped taking him along with you.

"Hidan, you freaking idiot, what're you doing behind me?!" You yelled.

"What're you doing infront of me?!" Hidan yelled back.

"Stop copying me!" You yelled back.

"Get off of me midget! I can't move." Hidan yelled.

You noticed you were on top of Hidan when he mentioned it, getting off quickly, you gave him a glare as he got up. Looking back at Pein and Konan, you noticed Konan's lips were trembling, she was trying to hold in her laughter. You took this as an opportunity to throw a water balloon at her, but she dodged. Both you and Konan started throwing water balloons at each other before stopping and noticing something was odd.

"Hey..." You said. "What?" Asked Konan.

"Don't you think something is awfully wrong here?" You asked.

"Yeah..." You replied.

"Why the hell are we, the women, fighting, while you, men, are just standing there?!" Both you and Konan yelled at your partners.

"What, why should we join in?" Pein and Hidan asked lazily.

"What do you mean why? This is a fight that's why."

"Why do girls take everything so seriously." Sighed Hidan. Pein nodded.

"Are you guys in your right mind?" You asked.

"It makes me doubt who my real partner in this game is." Said Konan, sighing.

"Fine, let's get back to the game." Said Pein. Konan walked over next to him.

You didn't wait till everyone was ready. You automatically threw a water balloon at Konan, who wasn't fast enough to dodge it. You smirked as you saw Konan getting mad. Konan threw a water balloon at you which you dodged. You didn't notice Pein coming in behind you as he threw some water balloons at you which soaked your clothes. Hidan started laughing at the sight of you.

"Oi Hidan! Whose side are you on!" You yelled.

"No-" Before he could continue Konan threw water balloons at him. Hidan jumped, dodging them, causing them to land in your face.

"I'm already soaked enough from my fight with Kisame, It's your turn _" Hidan said smirking.

"Heck, I don't even know if that could be called a fight." He muttered to himself.

"Shut up Hidan." You said, pouting. "Isn't it about time we ended this already." Said Hidan.

You nodded, running over towards were Konan was to sneak attack her before tripping on the water under your feet which caused you to bump into Konan. "What the h-?!" Before Konan could continue her sentence, the bump caused her to fall on top of Pein, accidentally kissing him.  
You just stood there, wide eyed.

"Well, you can now beg for dear life _, I'm not responsible." Said Hidan, covering his mouth so he wouldn't lose it.

Konan was blushing three shades of red, before fainting from what just happened. Pein got up, glaring at you.

"I-it was an accident! I swear." You yelled, panicking.

"What, no need to be so mad now Pein, you got to have a sweet moment with Konan-chan." Said Hidan, smirking. You punched Hidan in the stomach.

"What the heck was that for?!" He yelled.

"You idiot, the game is over, we won, but that means the rules are off too." You whispered.

"I'll deal with you later, but in the meantime, you won, as promised, you get to dare our team members individually to do something you want them to." Said Pein, trying to calm down from his anger.

"Yay! We won!" You said, jumping over to Hidan and hugging him, for a split second he hugged back before you both jumped back.

"Okay that was creepy." you both said shivering.

-Later that night-

The Akatsuki members recovered and all gathered in the living room. Sitting down on the floor, you noticed Deidara had a devilish smile on his face. You decided not to ask why, you guessed he had something evil in mind.

"Well, since my team lost, your team will dare us individually to do whatever you want." Said Pein.

You and the rest of your team smirked. "Well..." You began. "Pein, I dare you to let ALL the Akatsuki do whatever they want for two days." Pein glared at you, you smiled back.

"Fine." He said. "This isn't bad at all." You mumbled to yourself.

"Well then, Deidara's turn." You felt like Deidara was waiting for this moment for awhile now, from how excited his face looked, not to mention evil.

"Tobi... I dare you to, let me blow you up whenever I feel like it for a week, it's not like you'll die anyway,un." Deidara said, his smile getting even wider.

"Deidara senpai..." Tobi said, panicking. "Now now senpai, no need to get has-"

"Tobi, you'll listen to me right? Since Tobi is a good boy after all, un." Deidara said, smiling. "Uh, but that, senpai-"

"That's fine." Pein interrupted. "Hey wait a minute!" Tobi panicked.

"Your loss can be made up for." Said Pein. "Eh?! Does everyone want me gone that badly?" Asked Tobi, sulking. Everyone nodded, except you.

"Don't worry Tobi, we need a hyperactive idiot around and you fit the role, so Deidara won't kill you." "_-Senpai." Tobi said, feeling better.

"It's Hidan's turn to dare."

"Well, there are a lot of better things I could come up with but I already said I'd do something, and when I say I'll do some-" "Hurry up and dare whoever you're going to dare already." Kakuzu interrupted.

"Tch, fine." "I dare Kisame to start eating Sushi from tomorrow onwards till next month." Kisame stayed quiet, he didn't think his team would lose so easily, so he didn't have a reaction prepared for this.

"Alright, Kakuzu's turn."

"No, I'm fine." He said. You remembered what happened when he fought Konan, which reminded you to give him an earful later.

"Tch, no fun." Both you and Hidan said.

"Fine then, if Kakuzu isn't going to, then it's Itachi's turn."

"Sasori, I dare you to run around the Akatsuki hideout for twenty minutes like Tobi saying: I'm Pinocchio." Everyone gave Itachi a are-you-serious look before bursting into laughter at Sasori who got up and actually did the dare without complaining.

-Twenty minutes later-

Sasori came back and sat down, acting as if what he just did never happened.

"Well-" Hidan sneezed which interrupted your speech.

"What the hell?" You asked.

"I think I caught a cold or something." Replied Hidan.

"And why do you think that is?" You asked.

"Because-" you interrupted.

"Because what kind of idiot plays a water balloon fight shirtless?!" You yelled.

"A special type of idiot,un" Said Deidara.

"On Hidan's level." Added Itachi.

"Shut the h-" Hidan started sneezing before he could continue his sentence.

"Okay, that's it, go to bed Hidan."

"Bed? At this time? No way."

You knew Hidan wouldn't budge no matter what you said.

"Kakuzu!" You yelled.

"What?" He asked.

"Take Hidan up to your room, even if you have to drag him there." Kakuzu sighed, before grabbing Hidan by his hair.

"Ouch! You're ripping my hair out, freaking moron!" Screamed Hidan.

"Shut up Hidan, that's what you get for not listening." Replied Kakuzu, while pulling Hidan up the stairs. Everyone could hear Hidan cursing and screaming as he was dragged upstairs, which made everyone lose it and start laughing again. Awhile later, Kakuzu came back downstairs and sat down counting the money he got from Konan.

"Oi." You said.

"What now?" Asked Kakuzu getting irritated. You grabbed both Kakuzu and Deidara to a corner, and began ranting.

"Deidara! You idiot! Didn't I tell you not to lose it and blow Tobi up! We almost lost you because of you!" Deidara rolled his eyes before replying. " I told you, I'd try my best, and I did,un"

"But in the end the result was the same wasn't it!?" You yelled.

"And you! Bakakuzu! How can you let Konan bribe you with money so easily?!"

"Oh god, this is going to take all day, un" Muttered Deidara to himself.

"What do you mean how? You should know me well enough by now, besides, you guys ruined the kitchen." He said glaring at you.

"And the hallway is completely destroyed." He added glaring at Deidara. Deidara lowered his gaze with an awkward smile forming on his lips.

"So, you still got any complaints?" Asked Kakuzu, leaving you dumbfounded before taking his money, sighing, and headed for his room.

"B-Bakakuzu! I wasn't done yet!" You yelled.

"Yeah yeah, finish your ranting tomorrow, I'm sleepy." Kakuzu walked away, leaving you angry.

As he was walking back to the living room, he didn't notice the water under his feet, which caused him to trip and fall on his back. Both you and Deidara stared at him, before you both started trembling from holding in your laughter, while the rest of the Akatsuki started laughing. Kakuzu got up, checking on his money to see if it was okay.

"At least check on yourself first!" Both you and Deidara yelled. Kakuzu ignored you guys, going upstairs, which made you and Deidara burst into laughter.


End file.
